To All The Girls and Boys I’ve Loved Before

I had an entire outline for this post, but… Welcome to my blog. Where things will rarely ever go to plan, and any kind of outline will always be thrown out the window for haphazard, lazily thrown together sentences. I’ll follow a vague outline, so if you’re playing at home, make sure to mark your bingo card!

Interpersonal relationships have always been hard for me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been that girl with her nose in a book, that girl who would rather get lost in a fantastic world of her own creation than play games with someone next door. I grew up in the nineties, that’s what we did back then. Making friends has been a task for me, and I’ve had one friend that has stood the test of time and shared trauma.

Friendships on the internet are different. Friends here drift in and out of your life, mostly superficial, but some are real keepers. I said on twitter recently, my therapist told me that there are friends for a reason, friends for a season, and lifelong friends. Internet friends, I’ve found, are typically more of the ‘season’ sort. That’s just the nature of the beast, really. But when you find those people that you really mesh with, that’s the real shit.

That’s what makes the “breakup” harder. When the season is over and the people you meshed with begin to drift away, the loss of those friendships hurt.

To all the girls and boys that I’ve loved and drifted away from:

I’m sorry.